What am I doing wrong (pfSense behind edge router)
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To external IPs it shouldn't be a problem with asymmetrical true... But the overall design is flawed... Even if he has no need to talk to other devices at this time... The design is not correct to ever allow internal hosts to talk to each other at some future point in time.
Hosts should never be on a transit. If you have something that forces you do to it, then you have to host routing or natting.. Neither of which are desired things to have to do.
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I look forward to pics of your decorative laptop arrangement.