[SOLVED]:
Here was the main hangup, I needed to use nat-t to work from behind other nats and to do that I created a firewall rule under wan, to allow udp traffic through port 4500. This allowed me to get past phase 1 and 2. I then remembered that I was switching around the ipaddress for the remote client, putting it inside my subnet then outside and back in. I reread the tutorial and it does clearly say to use an ip ouside your subnet, so I was just giving myself headaces by not sticking with the totorial after opening port 4500.
Long story short,
to enable nat-t, create a firewall rule under wan, for udp port 4500 and follow the tutorial! ;)