Hi,
I would suggest you to read this how-to:
http://forum.pfsense.org/index.php/topic,12888.0.htmlThis will explain you how to make a site-to-site VPN which only needs one OpenVPN server and PKI infrastructure instead of PSK.
Further you have the ability to use "Client specific overrides" so that you can push routes from the OpenVPN server to the clients and so you can push only the routes you want to allow. So one strategy could be to push only the routs syou want to allow or you push all routes to all sites and the do it like twaters wrote with firewall rules.
I probably would go the way with firewall rules because configuring firewall rules to make a temporarily connection for some IPs or a subnet would be easier than with adding/removing routes.
In general we can say what you want to do is possible, there are different possibilities to setup the VPN (PKI or PSK) and to use routes or firewall rules to limit traffic.
Not to mention, but if you ever need to have Site 1 Subnet A talk to Remote Site 1 Subnet B, the route is already established and confirmed. All that is needed is a change in the Firewall Status.