as jimp wrote, set your tunnel to the following modes:
Side 1: IKEv2, Rekey configured, Reauth disabled, child SA close action set to restart/reconnect
Side 2: IKEv2, Rekey configured, Reauth disabled, responder only set, child SA close action left at default (clear)
See also:
https://redmine.pfsense.org/issues/10176