It's not intended to be used that way, so there is no way to make that work easily. You'd have to keep XMLRPC disabled (remove the user/pass/URL) and then fill it in only when the backup is online.
It would be better to keep backups of your running system and restore a full to the second box when needed, or always keep it online.
The sync doesn't happen randomly, it happens any time there is a configuration change.