Just an update on this, I purchased a new intel NIC and the connection has been solid ever since, no dropped packets, no wan down. For anyone else reading, the updated realtek drivers helped a little, but it took a day before the dropouts slowed (no idea why). It also helped when I moved my realtek nic from WAN to LAN. The ultimate fix appears to be as @bmeeks suggested "change out the Realtek NIC for an Intel variety"