@michmoor I would love to give your reply a thumbs up, but apparently you have to have 5 something, and no clue on how to get that.
Anyway, I'm going to look at wireguard; however, i upped my p1 timeout, rekey, and expiry times to 7 days then 10 under for rekey and 2 under for expiry and i've gone ahead and upped the p2 to 1 day and rekey at 5 minutes under.
That was at 13:44 and we are now at 16:17 and we haven't had a drop yet.