Many thanks!
I have already noticed that pfSense and FreePBX (Asterisk) don't go together too well. Somehow, certain states are not handled correctly, especially when starting the internet connection through PPPoE from within pfSense.
Also, the NAT settings are a nightmare - I finally got best results by switching everything off (in Asterisk).
As for the Grandstream: yes - I wanted to avoid hat effort. But I somehow got it to work - also, with a configuration I thought I had tried before already.
Looks like both DH 1024 and 2048 are supported (did not try any more) as well as Blowfish (BF-CBC) and AED-256 (AES-256-CBC). After first managing with certificates of only 1024 bits, it now also works with 2048 bits, so security should be ok. Only the SHA1 (did not try any others) seems a little bit weak.
Also, OpenVPN is configured for "Remote Access (SSL/TLS)" and when enabling access to just the one IP of the Asterisk, everything is working fine, to reduce the security risk a little. No username/password is needed.
Also.. in case someone else has similar problems: I had to enable symmetrical RTP in both the phone and Asterisk, otherwise I often had the problem of audio being one-way and that one person thus could not be hear.
I am hoping that the real use will prove stable.. setup certainly was a challenge.
Also, my next task is to enable the redundant internet connection.. so now I wonder if that is goin to introduce any more issues..