@RickyBaker I think it was the modem!!!
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I'm not convinced this isn't just temporary. Some of the settings of the Modem seem wrong. for one passthrough didn't seem to work and DHCP is enabled on the router. I'd like to enable the protocol in that link i posted above (https://docs.netgate.com/pfsense/en/latest/recipes/authbridge.html) but for the time being i'm happy to have snappy internet back! Thanks everyone!
This seems......ok? not sure what I should expect over wifi with gigabit fiber:
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It's def faster than it was though...