So this is embarrasing...
I have a Mail server that I recently changed the password on my mail account for, this Mail service runs on my home-server.
I got a scheduled powershell script that goes through the logs of this mail service and automatically blocks incoming connections from IP addresses that try to brute force-login or use my mail server as a forwarder. (fail2ban script I made in powershell)
Apparently, since I changed the password to my account, my Gateway-iP (192.168.10.1) was blocked by this script, probably because I had not changed it on my phone.
so it was not NAT reflection that was broken, it was my windows firewall...
will change the powershell script now, to not block my gateway IP :)
also going back to the Ubiquiti Router, as I was able to get IPsec to work there, while I find it very advanced for pfsense