Just an update here for anyone who's interested/following
I seem too have fixed all my issues now the only thing i need too do too finish setup is move the the xboxs from a strict nat to a open nat
What was the problem with the local upnp?
Quote from Wikipedia
"IGMP snooping and reliability
If IGMP snooping is enabled on a switch, or more commonly a wireless router/switch, it will interfere with UPnP/DLNA device discovery (SSDP) if incorrectly or incompletely configured (e.g. without an active querier or IGMP proxy), making UPnP appear unreliable.
Typical scenarios observed include a server or client (e.g. smart TV) appearing after power on, and then disappearing after a few minutes (often 30 by default configuration) due to IGMP group membership expiring."
What was wrong with Network Discovery?
im sorry i cant confirm what actually fixed this its been a combination of enabling different thigs and trial and error reading the net and watching videos it mainly seemed too be services stopped and features disabled (possibly from an windows update)
What was wrong with xbox upnp?
This was solved as soon as i fixed the upnp locally
Thanks everyone for the replys and tips it might not have seemed like it but they helped alot