I expect a steam download will cause carnage.
I consider that the ultimate test, steam downloads (uncapped in client) are almost like DDOS'ing your own line 30+ download threads.
Basically when a line is saturated you will get packet loss, there has to be, TCP flow is controlled by the fact packets get dropped. However the issue is which packets are getting dropped and the amount been dropped.
Ingress shaping that prioritises small packets e.g. if working perfect would ensure these pings make it through on the monitoring, so presenting a loss free line, and "all" the dropped packets would be from the TCP downloads having practically no impact on throughput. That's the ideal world scenario.
It is a mystery why some people don't see this issue at all, some see it but can fix it via ingress shaping, others see it but cannot fix it at all (without a massive downstream throttle to prevent it). My theory remains a driver/nic issue been possible, but also hard to rule out the intermediate modem.
If possible the first test would be to swap out pfSense for something else temporarily, and if the behaviour is the same, then it suggests an issue either with modem or ISP side queuing. Certainly I think on the modern internet ingress is far more difficult to manage than egress, egress for me has only ever really compromised QoS in the days when it was tiny like on ADSL. Even then it tended to just skyrocket latency rather than cause significant packet loss. Buffer bloat is bad, but its a lesser evil than a mass of indiscriminate dropped packets.