The DP83815 and DP83816 are identical (816 only adds WoL,) and are more than capable of wirespeed under FreeBSD, when using POLLING and doing raw, rather than pf. DP8381(5,6)'s backed with sufficient CPU certainly can do what you're looking for, but a 5501 does not fall into the sufficient CPU category. The DP83816's beautiful for pfSense in that you can do not only in-chip zero-CPU MAC filtering, but deep frame pattern matching. Sadly, nobody bothered to implement either in sis(4), or the PHY's self/remote/cable test capabilities. Hell, the Sun X4445A Quad Gigabit is actually based around the gigabit version of the DP83816, which did add TCP checksum offload. The problem is that only Sun picked up on the design, and nobody else used them. The MacPHYter family is still far and away, one of the most advanced designs ever created - even Intel does not equal them in many regards.
But I digress; as I said, you need to back an 83816 with significant CPU. Realistically, you'll only find RealTrash, Intel, and Marvell (D-Link DGE-530T) out there. As far as I know, D-Link hasn't changed the hardware on the 530T. So either that or an Intel card will do the job.