ARGH! It's always the same, you think you try everything then you post on a forum, then you go back and read the doco and find what you've done wrong.
For my NAT rule i was setting it to the LAN CARP VIP, not the WAN CARP VIP. As shown in doco and videos. Apologises.
And as for my DNS not working, i had not set the LAN CARP VIP to listen for DNS queries.
Apologises folks. All done