@Cloudless-Smart-Home many, many threads regarding the home assistant not liking to be proxied, but I found the solution was to turn off the ssl checkbox that works in every other server, evidentially because they were already running https, unlike home assistant. also had to add a config.yaml entry to allow trusted proxies and uncheck forward for, but then it worked too, for the record, incase someone else stumbles into this conversation, they won't have to spend hours and hours to find a simple solution. sooo much to learn and such hard knocks when you do, lol.